The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.

The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.